I realized that it is very hard for me to talk about my sister unless its about the good times. When the subject comes up I avoid talking about it because I guess deep down I just wanna remember the good and nothing else. Sometimes I wonder if the way I handle it is wrong because I look up and I'm the only one not crying. I'm the only one that never has anything to say about all of it. Am I wrong for not wanting to think about the bad, or is it just my way of avoiding the truth of reality? Do I have to grieve like everyone else or can I handle it in my own way. Maybe its not such a bad thing to deal with it the way I feel I need to. Inside I know what it is but I just truly wish it wasn't something I had to except....